And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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