Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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