If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
