I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
