Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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