This is not my ceiling
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
