What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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