and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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