i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Still dying that you shit outside
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
