Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
