I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
