Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
