i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize