the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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