Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
