if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
