I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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