Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
