Kiss
Puke
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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