I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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