He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
