I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just had sex on a roof
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
