dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Randomize
