I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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