so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
