i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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