John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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