hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This is my gift to your gina
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
