are you still at the devil's house?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
