I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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