I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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