my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
