sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
