Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
