How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
