I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
