If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
