I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize