whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
