is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
