Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
