she looked like the bat from fern gully.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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