She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
