The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
