I think I just saw someone hide a body.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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