why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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