Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
