Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
