I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
