I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
