This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize