Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
