You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hell yes lets make some ravioli
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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