How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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