You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He felt like a one man threesome
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
