she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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