There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i permit you to call me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm passing your future prison.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
