i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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