I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
