SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
